Thursday 10th July 2008

What a journey I have been on these last 7 months, in fact the last 5 years, for her sake I will not use her real name, believe it or not I am a good person, but she would never say that, why is it women persist to think that the only possible truth can be what they think it is ? They would rather believe what they "THINK" they know rather than what we tell them.

What I am going to wirte here and for how long I dont know, you guys will understand and appreciate but if any women read this its a different story !

7 Months ago I left my wife, we got married on July 28th 2007, we have two little boys aged 3 and 1 who are the apple of my eye, I had been with "Sarah" for 5 years and in that time we had our ups and down's we broke up 3 times before we got married, she likes to say that I left her for another women !! I disagree it wasnt until afterI left her and found attention from other women that I started to bother with them.

See she doesnt understand that the reason I left her so many times was because of her controlling ways and the fact that everything was my falt, literally she couldnt take blame, if we had an argument I would say " ok ok so thanks for telling we what I had done wrong BUT what part did you play " her answer always the same " well if you hadnt of done that or this I wouldt of " and so round and around we go, untill we had our second baby, what is a man supposed to do, I love my children and I didnt want our kids being another satistic like I was... so we got married, things got worse instantly, This was my life actually it was our life but this is how it affected me. Wake up, get children dressed and breakfast, shes upstairs getting herself ready, I go up stairs we start to argue because I want to get ready and charlie is calling me and she cant bare it.. so I go and see my boy he is sorted i go and get dressed we argue because she needs helpto her car, I help her she then tells me I look rough !! so I close door get myself sorted and I then have to sit in traffic or an hour on the way to work and as I was rushing I have left me cigerates in house... she rings I snap phone down, in work I am super busy big presentation today £280k shes calling andasking if I mind picking kids up from nursery havent got time ! I am now a rubbish farther go home we argue until bed and next moring we start again !!

Sorry but after 5 years I cracked ! so I moved out in Feb this year now living in the next big city to were they live, I see my boys every other weekend and we do lots of fun stuff away form the roes but I do miss them. The first weekend I move out she meets someone, not going to lie it was the biggest kick in the guts I have ever had, she is telling me every little detail of what he dos to her sexually and how he makes her feel, now I would let her know this but it was driving me mad, I wanted to kill him, she rings me up and says I want him to meet the Kids... What do I say no and he does anyway, Not going to go in to to much detail but he now crosses the street if he see's me, now its been so long I couldnt care what she does, she is no longer with him but she is doing what she wants. She is always on my case thou making my life so so hard always keeping on she makes me so sad and puts me down, she blackmails me and loves the fact that she has my kids and all threatens me with them not seeing them she is so mean.

Back in October I meet someone at a works conference I have a brilliant job in the TV industry anyway I meet someone and we super clicked and we did have sex, ever since we have been in contact via work email as she was is a real bad realationship she was abused and beaten, so for her sake we had to keep it low so on every work event we would spend the whole time together snuggle up in bed and just have a cuddle, until really recently she had left him, we spent the whole weekend together ans it was amazing, we are now seeing each other and things are progressing nicely neither of us want to rush anythign as I got hurt bad I forgot to mention I found her in bed with somone I knew ! exactly..

So things were looking okay for me except for the ex being a bitch all the time, until I had a phone call, from a one night stand I had weeks ago, this was before the new girl and I were seeing each other... it said I am preganent!! can you believe my bloody luck worse part it she wants to keep it !! what am I going to do ? just when I find someone I want to be with and really like BANG !!!